I will no doubt piss off a few members of law enforcement, if they happen to come across this blog today, but seriously, GET IT TOGETHER.

I do understand, as much as any civilian can, and appreciate what our officers deal with on a daily basis.  I’m sure they’re overworked and underpaid; well, for the most part, like any other profession.

But please don’t insult me by talking over what I’m trying to tell you or explain to you, and please try to keep track of important paperwork.  And please, for the love of God, don’t insist that you can’t question a suspect or investigate a crime unless you have actually observed it.

Holy crap.

After three hours of painful waiting – on a very hard bench, in a very boring place, listening to screeching children – I obtained a temporary order of protection last Wednesday night.  As of 1:00 pm today, it has still not been served.

Oh, he’s aware of its existence; he stopped in on Friday and I told him to leave.  He went to the police department, who knows why, and they called me.  Said they didn’t have a copy, even though I assured them that the county had said they would fax it to them on Wednesday night.  They said they couldn’t enforce the order until he’d been served; I informed them that he’d seen it, he knew of it, and they damn well better enforce it if I need them to do so.  This, of course, after she finally shut up long enough and quit repeating herself numerous times to I could get in a word edgewise.

So I called the county.  They promised they had faxed it to both my local department and to the county where the subject has supposedly been staying.  So they faxed it again.  This time it was received.  Of course, by then he’d left and so couldn’t be served then and there.

Everyone has said “three to five days” is about how long it takes to serve papers.  Since I was in the phone call mode, I also called the county where this is supposed to be served and they assured me they had received it.  Good. 

That was Friday.  Today is Tuesday.  Still nothing.

Back to the phone.  I called the domestic violence unit; oh, she said, we never tell anyone 3-5 days.  Good to know.  Here, she tells me, call this Sergeant in the north zone, he can tell you what’s going on.  So I did.  He called back.  Wrong zone.  However…he was very nice, very helpful, and he found the problem.

Not only was I told the wrong zone, but they can’t find the order.  He asked who I talked to – had no idea; he read a list of names, nope, not ringing a bell because I’m pretty sure the lady I talked to never gave her name.  Convenient, yes? 

But wait – it’s IN the computer, but there’s no HARD COPY.  What, can’t just hit the “print” button?  Apparently not.

So, once again, I’m going to do the job of someone else who dropped the ball.  Did I mention this is a PROTECTIVE ORDER?  Nice job, everyone – and trust me, that’s very heavy on sarcasm.  That’s twice that the county failed to follow its own procedure.  In one case.  I wonder how many other protective orders have “disappeared” or not arrived?  Is it that difficult to send a fax? 

But wait again – it just gets better!  I faxed my own copy, then I called the county office again.  Oh no, she says, we don’t fax it outside of this county, we use the USPS.  Really.  So for an address that’s about two feet over the county line, you use the mail?  The fax doesn’t reach that far?  Seriously??

Oh, and you mailed it on Thursday?  Using what, carrier pigeon?  Pony express?  WHERE THE HECK DID IT GO??  Do you know why they do it this way?  Because…it’s procedure.

Yep, procedure.  Gotta love bureaucracy.  Let’s use the most inefficient method possible because some moron thought – what?  Faxing was too time-consuming?  He thought the phone bill might go up?  Naw, probably has a cousin who has a brother who has an ex-wife who has a sister who works for the postal system and he thought maybe they get a commission or something.  Sheesh.

She also told me that they DID fax it to my local department and they have the fax transmission – both days, Wednesday and Friday.  Again, WHERE THE HECK DID IT GO?

The other day I asked for blog topic suggestions.  The very first one was the question, “Will they kill off Jack Bauer in Season 8?”

Who?

Yes, I had to look him up – I had no clue.

Apparently, played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer is the protagonist of the TV show “24”.  Which I have never watched.  Why?  Beats me.  Sounds like something I’d enjoy, although I’m not a big TV watcher.  Over the years, I’ve been loyally following such programs as “Lost” (just shoot me now), “Boston Legal” (bring it BACK.  Well, maybe.), “Desperate Housewives” (kind of like a modern, woman-focused “Dallas” with a bit less sex and power and a slower pace), and a few others which, apparently, were not too memorable.

Back to Jack.  From what Wikipedia tells me (yeah, I know, real accurate source, huh?), Jack has a degree in criminology and well, fights crime.  In the form of a fictional (duh) counter terrorist unit.  Naturally, he’s a veteran, and worked for the CIA at one point.  Seems almost a given.  Lots of awards, too.  I mean, if you’re going to get a guy to knock off terrorists and do a dandy job of it, he’d better have a lot of experience, right?  ‘Cause, you know, guys like this just don’t fall off trees.  I wonder how many real people would have all these characteristics?  What are the odds?

In a nutshell, I can’t really answer the question, “will they kill him off” because, well, I haven’t seen the show.  Myself, I’d let him live.  Leaves the door open, so to speak.  Especially since, even though this is the last season, there is talk of a full-length movie in the works.  It’d be hard to make it believable without the main character, yes?

Oh, wait a sec – I haven’t fully addressed my title, have I?

See, the second question posed that day, as pertaining to blog topics, was “where do lost socks go?”

This is even trickier than Jack Bauer, although I’ve often wondered where the socks do end up…well, other than the ones  you see lying in the road.  I’ve researched and polled many individuals and, I believe, the answer lies in the machine itself.

Some washers are hungrier than others.  Mine, for example, makes loud growling noises whenever it starts which progress into sounds like an airplane taking off.  In fact, if you don’t shut the basement door, you could swear it was coming right up the stairs.

Probably in search of food.  Like socks.

I actually don’t often seem to lose socks – then again, I stopped balling up matching pairs together, so maybe I’m not the best person to query on this subject.  It does save me the aggravation of having socks go MIA.

My problem, conversely, is that socks more often appear.  In the washer…in the dryer…on the floor nearby…on the stairs.  Just a random sock, no connection to the load of laundry that particular day, say, when I’m washing towels.  Weird.  I’m always pulling socks out of odd places and returning them to the room of whoever it looks as though it might fit.  Sometimes I mess up.  My husband once put on pink-trimmed socks before he realized they didn’t fit very well….