A few days ago, I posted an older article I’d written on moving an entire household a distance of about 800 miles, give or take a few.  Ah, the memories…blech!

So, I thought I’d give a running commentary on this most recent insane decision, moving again.  Now, a lot of people – especially around here – never move; and I do mean “never”.  I’ve heard people say their starter home is also their retirement home – I just cannot imagine.  My dad always thought we moved a lot – maybe so, and no, my husband was not military, just retail.

I got to thinking and I realized that I have moved, on average, every three years.  Is that a lot?  Since I still remember Dad’s comment, I looked back and noticed that, from birth to age 13, I moved three times – that’s when I lived with him, and that was roughly every four years.  So what’s excessive? 

The shortest time I lived somewhere was six months – as a young, broke, college student.  That was extreme, yes, I agree, but the plus side was that I had very little to actually move and since I went back home, a mere two hours’ drive, it was relatively painless.

The longest duration was eight years, when I was a kid.  Now, keep in mind that I didn’t change schools and it was the same general area; much like two of our more recent moves, with the kids.  Oh, and this one coming up, too.

Back to the present move.  We made the decision a few weeks ago, and we’ve been downsizing ever since.  Ugh.  I did actually throw out some stuff, papers mostly, and we’re selling some furniture and miscellaneous things – garage sale coming up July 10^th, if you’re in the STL area!  Just sayin’.

The basement is about half done; the garage is looking good.  ‘Course, a lot of stuff is now sitting in a storage unit, and more is headed that direction.  Thank goodness we have a truck.  We’re actually only losing a couple hundred square feet of living space, but, um, we’re also losing the basement and garage!  I do have to laugh whenever an apartment complex says they have “lots of storage” – ha!

And yes, the move is just across town.  No biggie, especially since our family has moved, oh, from central Missouri to western Missouri, to Colorado (two towns), to Texas (three homes), and back to Missouri.  Now that I mention it, just thinking about all that makes me want to crawl back into bed until it’s all over:

First move: not huge, an hour away, two kids, two cats, one dog.

Second move: had two weeks to find a house, pack, and move 800 miles; two kids, one pregnant mother, no pets.

Third move: same state, three kids, no pets, husband working nights, house not ready for six weeks so lived in four different hotels.  Fun times, I’m tellin’ ya!

Fourth move: to a 900 square foot house, three kids, one dog, long, hot, dusty drive through New Mexico and Texas.  ACK!!!!

Fifth move: to a much bigger house, on a ranch, where we had $800 electric bills.  And that was just for one month.  Acquired a cat.

Sixth move: I swore this was the LAST one.  Ha.  Don’t swear, it’s bad.  Same area, though, still in Texas.

Seventh move: 800+ miles, two days of driving.  One U-haul, one car, one truck pulling a 20-foot trailer, one mother, one husband, me, two kids, two dogs, two cats.  This was supposed to be for a year, tops.  It lasted three.

Eighth move: now you’re all caught up!

So there you have it – I’m tired reading all this, but have to get my behind in gear and stick with The List.  Yes, I meant to capitalize that, The List is a must-have for any adventure such as moving – especially now that we’re down to one kid, one dog, but still two cats; oh yeah, and FOUR hamsters!

Why is it so hard to do the right thing?  Why do people struggle with this concept?

Greed?  Selfishness?  Just plain, old-fashioned sin?

Then again, what is “right”?

Ah, this last one we could conceivably argue all the livelong day.  For many days, even.  But there are some things which are, yes, I’m going to say it, black and white. 

Take theft, for example.  No one would disagree that stealing is wrong, but many would consider the reason behind it.  This, however, the reason, does not make it right.  It may excuse the behavior, it may invite leniency, but it doesn’t change the fact that stealing is wrong.

What if a man were starving, and stole a loaf of bread out of hunger?  This is common example, we’ve all heard or used it.  Well, I say, why didn’t he first ask?  Why didn’t he make use of one social service program or another to feed himself?  Sure, applying for food stamps takes weeks and the paperwork is interminable, but he could start there, and move on to a soup kitchen or a food bank.  Or, he could simply ask someone for a meal or a snack to tide him over.

One would feel sorry for this man, and most, I think, would help.  Why don’t people simply ask?  Pride?  Or just degeneracy?  Of course, I have to think that most people would have done something long before they get in this position, but some don’t plan, sometimes things happen unexpectedly, and there could be other reasons as well.

But stealing is still wrong.  Someone else has worked for and earned the item in question, and another person is not entitled to have it, just because.

Jumping far to the other side of the subject, what’s this we hear about, continuously, this “wealth preservation”?  I don’t know about you, but I don’t really have any to “preserve”; I understand some do.  The question of right, in this instance, involves a more personal preference, an opinion, if you will, as to how one wishes to dispose of his possessions.  He basically has two choices – hang on to enough to live for however many years he has remaining, and spend the rest, or hang on to it all, period, so he can leave something to his children or grandchildren.

Of course, the trick is knowing how much longer you have, and therefore how much you need.  And, too, if one chooses to spend it all, he may have a very short period in which to accomplish this – no one knows for sure when his time has come.

Let’s be more specific: a man left money to his wife and his two daughters.  Whatever was left, after his wife passed away, was to be split.  A trustee was supposed to “preserve” the principal.  He chose to spend it.  Why?  What stopped him from doing the right thing?  Well, I kind of think he’s a jerk, but that’s really no defense.  Or reason.  Just a lame excuse.

We could speculate that the wife had more than a little something to do with it – after all, most of the principal was spent on her.  But that might open up a whole new lawsuit.

Because yes, folks, there is a lawsuit.  Naturally.  Because so many people have an apparent inability to do the right thing.  In a nutshell, we tried to stop the financial bleeding, they opposed this.  Of course they would, it was taking money “from” them; now, granted, money they weren’t exactly entitled to, because the man in question had made the decision what to do with what HE had earned, but the attorney working on this deal had a financial interest as well.  Unethical?  You bet!

Again, NOT the right thing to do.  But who is going to call them on this?  Well, I did.  Didn’t do any good, and you know why?  Because there are no sanctions against people who do the wrong thing.  None.  Why, again?  Because our world has become a do-your-own-thing place, a world where everyone is “right” and good and bad, wrong and right, are relative.  Wouldn’t want to offend anyone, now would we?

What about duty and honor?  These words/concepts seem to be dead as well.  I’m not going to ask why, because I really have no idea – except, perhaps, to direct your attention to the preceding paragraph.  That might be it.

Does one have a duty to his children?  Of course, but one must first define the extent of that duty.  Does one have a duty to “preserve his wealth” for those children?  Probably not – his wealth, his choice, really.  Of course, once he’s deceased, all bets are off and whoever is left in charge calls the shots.

What about property?  Property can be anything from great-grandmother’s wedding rings to old family china to actual property, as in real estate.  Someone who possessed honor and had a sense of duty to his family would strive to pass these things along to the next generation.  Again, in spite of intentions, once the individual is gone it’s all left to others.  And, if those “others” don’t exhibit these qualities, again, all bets are off.

Of course, sometimes, even those still living lack a sense of duty and honor when it comes to family history.  Their attitude is somewhere along the lines of “it’s MINE” and, because of that, “I can do whatever I want!”  Both assertions are true, but both also show a lack of integrity.

Long story short or, rather, long blog long, one should ponder how and where and why he is in this life, and consider those who came before and actually made that life possible; and, too, think of those who came afterwards and who will remember him in a certain way – with pride, or with disappointment.  When you’re part of a family, you have a responsibility to preserve and maintain the history, for those who are also part of that tradition.  You don’t get to be selfish and you don’t get to do whatever you want.  That’s part of the price of living, because without those who came before you, well, duh – you wouldn’t be here!