writer « Robin Writes

For all you tiny house and downsizing enthusiasts, I’m going to talk a bit about the reality of both these things. Not necessarily going off-grid; that presents its own set of challenges. But the idea of “tiny” is much more palatable than actually doing it . . .

As I’ve discovered.

Originally, we were planning to have a 640 square foot cabin and shed-like outbuildings for different purposes: pump house, food storage, fuel, general storage, tools, etc. What we ended up with was a 900 square foot house and a 40 X 60 barn. And a pump house, which is NOT outside the back door, or large enough for my deep freeze and washer and dryer and extended pantry.

So, we adapt: we’ve built two units inside the barn, and there’s a lean-to on the back of the house which might fit the washer/dryer and a freezer. Might.

The house presents more issues—lack of wall space. You know those pictures of homes with all the open areas? They look great, right? Of course, model homes always do. You’ll rarely find a litter box or clumps of dog hair lying around. But take a look around your home—how much furniture is designed to go against the wall? A lot.

We started with two rooms, and are adding three walls, or partial walls, for a total of five rooms. Sort of. One wall is just a break between bedroom and office; one is a 6-foot wall to divide off the bathroom; and one is 5-foot wall to divide the living room and kitchen. Or maybe a bar. I haven’t quite decided.

As for furniture, we have to get creative. I have several antique pieces that I’m simply not willing to part with, including an armoire and a dresser from 1850. On the other hand, our bedroom suite is easily 20+ years old and has survived 15 moves, so it’s time to get rid of all that. And it’s easy, since we won’t have a huge L-shaped living room with three seating areas OR a guestroom.

Sorry, folks, if you come visit, you’ll have to camp!

So back to the furniture and furnishings: what to keep, what to get rid of, what to store? Thank goodness for that barn! This way, I can keep some things that I might’ve had to part with, the things you keep “just in case.” And I’m not talking about survival items.

Like the Mexican pine dining room table and the six chairs my husband built. I mean, what if the kids actually visited? We’d need space to seat everyone, even if it was outside in the yard. Or my grandmother’s electric organ? Granted, I don’t play it often, but she bought it in the 1940s and I’ve had it since 1989. And do I really need a six-foot partners’ desk, or will the antique table suffice? Or could I fit both in my office?

Should we get a new loveseat and recliner? Or use the old ones—they aren’t that old, but they aren’t what you’d call high quality either . . . The bookcases, well, they’ll fit! One way or another . . .

My current office is about 12 x 12. My new one is 8 x 14. That’s a downsize of 32 square feet! For the entire house, we’re going from 1800 to 900. Half. Yikes!

And it’s really not even all about the furniture—think of wall space, again, and the pictures you hang; or the items you display on shelves or wherever. The new place has lots of windows, which is great—in fact, my new office has two entire walls of just windows, which means I’m losing four of nine bookcases, with no wall space to spare.

What in the heck am I going to do with all this stuff??

I’m am so sick of feeling like I should apologize because I’m white.

I didn’t ask to be born white. Black people didn’t ask to be born black.

I didn’t ask to be born into a middle-class family, upwardly mobile, even. Black people didn’t ask to be born into whatever class they, individually, were born into—see, I can’t even say “poor,” because while the majority of black people may be poor or whatever term one wishes to use, you absolutely can’t say that of all of them and there are plenty of poor and disadvantaged white people too.

Just like ALL white people aren’t living the life of a CEO with a million dollars—or a lot more. Okay, maybe most of the rich people, the really rich ones, ARE white, but they aren’t ME.

Do I think it’s wrong that SOME white people think that black people are inferior and show that by pulling them over in traffic stops for no reason, or shooting them with little or no provocation, or blaming them for everything, or thinking they’re dumb? OF COURSE.

But the people who do that are not ME.

So you know what? I’m done apologizing. I do want to learn, to study, to ask questions and have an open dialogue, but I’m done apologizing for being white.

I never owned slaves; neither did, to my knowledge, my ancestors. I never believed it was right to own another person. At the same time, while it’s history, it’s OVER. Just like the flying or display of the Confederate flag, which is also history, the war is over, which is why, presumably, those flags are falling right and left.

You can’t have it both ways. You can’t go on and on about slavery and racism and blaming the past, dwelling on the history of black people here in the US, just because it’s history, and then claim the Confederate flag should be abolished because of its OWN history.

Pick one.

You may disagree with my flag analogy; hell, maybe I even disagree with that convoluted paragraph, but my point stands.

And I’m done apologizing for being white. I’m done tiptoeing around the subject, or any subject, hoping not to offend someone. I love my friends, all races, but my friends and I can discuss things, brainstorm, work out our issues.

I’m equally certain that, one on one, most people can do that too. But not if we keep listening to the war-mongers, those who wish to divide and conquer.