write « Robin Writes

I have to admit, when Robin first mentioned that I would be trading off with Melanie over the weeks during our time as interns writing guest blog posts, I was a bit worried. I mean, who really cares what I think? What am I even going to write about? Then I was kind of excited when I heard about and saw the feedback that I got from my first few blog posts. I might not be so bad at these blog posts, I thought. But then, the next few posts weren’t as good.

As I was thinking over what I had written, I thought that maybe I just wasn’t thinking about my audience. I’m used to either writing to friends and family or for teachers in an academic context, not to professional writers or some of the other people who read Robin’s blog. If they’re already published and/or have finished all of their schooling, they might not relate to my fear of showing people my own work or the fact that rigorous school experiences might hamper the desire to read for fun. At least, not at this point, where some of the readers are in different stages of their lives than I am. The first few posts were easily relatable (at least, I personally think so). The rest, not necessarily as much (feel free to correct me if you want). And I do believe that everyone has something in common with everyone else and can relate to any person on a certain level (though some more than others). But when you only show a piece of yourself in whatever writing people are reading, they’re either going to like it and relate to it or not.

I’ve also been reading things online about writing that have caught my interest and I’m becoming increasingly more aware of the fact that school is starting soon, so I’ve been thinking about past classes, future classes, etc. With all of my thoughts about the blog posts and writing and school swirling around in my head, I’ve come to remember and appreciate more all of the little details that contribute to good writing. Not just grammar or plot, but names of characters and places and other little nuances like that which really need to be thought about – whether consciously or subconsciously – in order to make the piece of writing enjoyable for the reader. I personally never really thought I was that creative when it came to names. The piece that I read about names in writing talked about how the reader should be able to pronounce the name – so it can’t be too terribly crazy – and it shouldn’t be too similar to another character’s name in the same piece of writing, because they could be easily mixed up. I just had this huge reminder that those little details matter. Incorrect grammar and bad wording drags the quality of writing down, but if the reader can’t follow along or doesn’t have the desire to follow along with the story because of those small details, then how much does the grammar matter?

I think sometimes we get caught up in the little details that are less significant, and we have to keep in mind the big picture and then make sure we address the details that most pertain to the big picture. Like, will the audience even care about the subject I am addressing? Am I using language that is easily accessible? Because really, why bother with those other details if no one is even going to read the writing (I mean, other than for personal growth reasons…)? What we address also depends on our greatest strengths and weaknesses. If someone’s biggest weakness is grammar and that is the area most detracting from the quality of the writing, then the details to pay attention to would be in the grammar. In my case, I think I’ve needed to keep my audience more in mind.

I love the fact that I’ve gotten this reminder before school started (it’s not that I didn’t know these things, it’s that I hadn’t thought about them for a while). After all, I’ll be writing papers for my classes. Most of all, I think this can apply to everyday life. Sounds cheesy, I know, but it’s true. Sometimes we all just need to stop and look at the big picture. And we need to identify what details we need to focus on for a bit (because we probably should look at all of the details at some point) so that we make the big picture look good. If you’re struggling with anything, no matter what it is, I guarantee you that almost always you will be able to do something little, to change just a tiny detail, to make the situation better. So maybe we can apply this to our writing and our lives. Because sometimes we need to put all of the details together, take a step back, and look at the big picture; and sometimes, we need to work on the details because the details can be the things that make something great.

I can talk as much as I want about being kind and giving the benefit of the doubt to others – and I truly believe in being nice, conscientious, and accepting of others – to believe that they are, or can be, good people. But in order for any artist to be successful, he or she must believe in his or herself. If an artist doesn’t feel confident about what he or she wants to say to the audience, then he or she won’t be able to connect with the audience or convey his or her message to them. And, if an artist doesn’t feel good about his or her work, he or she won’t be able to get his or her work out there (side note: wow, that was a lot of his/her/he/she…). How do you sell something you aren’t even sure you believe in?

I have a lot of personal experience with this – the internal struggle, not so much the part about putting one’s work out there. I have very little experience with that part. When I write just because I want to write (I’m very carefully excluding writing for school, because for some of that I think this is true and for others not so much), I think I’m fine connecting with my “audience” – although I don’t know, because I’ve never really had an audience before. Unless you count a few close friends and my boyfriend (plus showing a random professor or friend something here or there) as enough people to be considered an audience. But as for feeling good about putting stuff out there… Well, I’ve gotten close, but close doesn’t get anybody anywhere. The thing is, I would put it out there if I could be completely anonymous. Or if I didn’t care so much about what people thought. Because I want feedback, I want to get better. And really, I only ever write little stuff, and not even a lot of it (well, it depends, I kind of go through periods of lots of writing and periods of not so much writing), so it’s not like I’d be giving someone a novel to read. But some of that stuff is so intensely personal, and even the stuff that isn’t still has a little bit of me in it – enough that anything someone says would really affect me. Because I care about all of that. And I’m sensitive in general anyway. Add on something that can be as personal as writing and those feelings just become magnified.

That’s why I’ve always really admired artists who put their work out there. Even if they aren’t articulate and can’t sing to save their lives and don’t draw any better than a kindergartener (no offense to any kindergarteners, it’s just that in only five years of life it’s hard to really build up a skill, though some people manage to…), they at least had the courage and faith in themselves to try. It might sound sappy, but to someone like me, that doesn’t seem like such a simple act – it seems daunting and scary and it means making oneself vulnerable. And I personally hate being vulnerable. Even just writing about BEING vulnerable freaks me out a bit – it’s too close to the real thing.

This isn’t a cry for help or a push or anything like that. I mean, sure, that might help, but I’m not asking for it. If I decide to put myself out there, then I have to do it on my own terms. It’s just a leap that I haven’t decided to take yet – I don’t know if opening myself up to that kind of vulnerability is worth getting better at poetry or whatever (to me, school is a different story, even though I do tend to write about personal things when the situation calls for it because I find it easier to write about something that one is already thinking about; but my point is that you can improve your writing in school without writing about personal things, like writing about literature, etc.). And, I mean, would you ever really hate hearing that someone feels you have potential? I wouldn’t. My point is that, if you’re feeling afraid or insecure or hesitant or anything along those lines about allowing people to see or hear your art – whether it is writing, drawing, singing, or whatever – you are not alone. And you might regret choosing to keep your art to yourself (I know I do sometimes; well, when I’m not being so self-deprecating that I don’t think what I write should even be considered in the realm of anything requiring a literary term), you really are just doing it for yourself anyway. Just do what makes you happy. But know it’s okay to be afraid and that you aren’t alone in feeling that way. Even if it’s just the two of us (although it probably is more than that), two is more than one. Draw strength from knowing that you aren’t alone and that it’s okay to feel that way, and most importantly, draw strength from the reasons you do your art in the first place.