write « Robin Writes

Since I’m going to be speaking on this topic, and a few others, this coming weekend at the All Write! Conference in Cape Girardeau, I thought I’d touch a few sales practices for book events.

Yes, sales. If you’ve never had a sales job, particularly one that paid straight commission, you might be hesitant to actually attempt book sales IRL—in other words, somewhere besides the Internet.

At most book events, you’ll have a table and a couple chairs. You aren’t required to actually sit in the chair the entire time . . .

Let’s look at it this way:

You walk into a store, any store, and see someone sitting at a table with samples of . . . just about any product. What will make you walk up to that table and start a conversation or examine the products?

Anyone? Bueller?

Well, you have to be interested enough in the product to approach the seller, right? And/or the seller has to make some kind of eye contact, and smile, and appear welcoming, and maybe even start the conversation, yes?

That’s you. The product—your book—must have a great cover, and YOU, the seller, must usually initiate any interaction.

Naturally, you aren’t going to scream, “BUY MY BOOK! NOW!” but you can totally make inane remarks like, “Still hot out there?” or even “Looks like we’re in for a big storm, huh?”

In sales, there are direct and indirect questions to pose to potential customers. These two, above, are direct—they require a yes or no answer. But you can’t stop there; these questions merely break the ice. You have to follow up, a key principle in sales, and you eventually have to close the sale.

So you get a conversation going, you connect to customers, you find common ground, you make it personal. We’re talking books here, not a $2000 appliance. Make the connection, make it personal, a conversation just between you and the customer and, at the very least, they’re going to buy your $15 book because they now KNOW YOU. You are a friend. Who doesn’t want to help out a friend?

And just like your friends who already bought your book, whether or not they have or intend to ever read it, whether they like the genre or not, whether they think the book is terrible—it doesn’t matter, THEY BOUGHT THE BOOK!

You have another sale, and someone, someday, will read it and maybe even (gasp) review it!

My biggest issue with writing advice sites is that every one of them purports to be an “expert.” Naturally, I’m an expert too. Ha.

Look, writing is pretty basic—a simple, coherent sentence that doesn’t flaunt bad grammar.

There ya go, now send me $100US, please! Message for my mailing address. Thank you!

Recently, I read a blog post about seven rules you can break, or don’t stress over, or something like that. Don’t remember, because I see stuff like this all the time. Oh, wait—I remember, it used the word “bogus” in the title.

Okay, first of all, the writer is an English prof, so maybe you should listen to him. Maybe. By the way, this came out over a year ago and is making the rounds again. Oh, and he’s also written a few books. No idea how well they’re doing, haven’t had time to check. You can, though. Google him, Amazon him, whatever. Let me know. Or not.

Back to the topic at hand:

Infinitives. Phht. Whatever. If it sounds right, split if you want to; if your editor changes it, please don’t cry. Editors have their own way of doing things. Sometimes they’re right. If they’re wrong on infinitives, they’re probably wrong on other things too.

Prepositions: I typically change a sentence to NOT end in a preposition, unless it’s dialogue. Why? Because I was taught NOT to do that; however, I was also raised with people who commonly asked, “Where are you at?” It’s a colloquialism, not exactly “bad grammar.” There’s a difference, kinda like dropping your Gs or saying “warsh” for “wash.”

Frankly, even as a child, I thought that extra R was ridiculous, and I trained myself not to use it.

So, next up, we have “which.” Which what? Again, I agree with the blog writer. Use whatever sounds best and move on.

Starting a sentence with a conjunction? No problem, unless you still a comma after said conjunction. This is often used for effect, but with a comma—ack! NO!

You do NOT ALWAYS have to “show not tell.” Silly rule. You’re a storyteller, after all! On the other hand, it’s usually always better to say, “I got ready for bed” instead of “I decided to” or “I started to.” Use things like “she walked,” “he did,” “they went,” and so forth.

Verb tense can be tricky. Ran into this myself not long ago. “A group,” “a bunch,” and “my family” all denote a collection of individuals, even though they all obviously are singular items. Because of this, in spite of the singularity, I will always use a plural verb: a group were, a bunch were, my family were. Remember, a collection of individuals, ergo, plural peeps. So go with the plural verb. Period.

Old versus new meanings. You can easily start an Internet argument about any of the words the blog writer uses as examples. Ignore it. Use whatever you like, if it works for you. If your editor is a stickler, she’ll change it. Argue at your peril.

Last and done: the blog writer “could care less.” Well then, he cares more than he lets on—get it? This one drives me nuts.

Thankfully, however, he ignored The Great Oxford Comma debate. Whew! Dodged a bullet there!

So here’s the deal:

Make sure your writing is as correct as it can be, and wait for the red pen. Because it will come. Maybe you can successfully defend your choices. Good luck!