novel « Robin Writes

Sometimes it seems as though all we do is work on the farm. It’s hard to relax when everywhere you look, you see more things to be done. Which is why we’re having Work Wednesday on Thursday!

I don’t think I turned on my laptop even once this past week. Between the wall-scraping and the supply storage unit we built, and the garden work, we were busy from early until late. At least the weather held, until Wednesday morning when we had showers. And it was much cooler, thank goodness.

The big news is the garden—we’re putting in a watering system which, while it’s not exactly what I envisioned, will do nicely for the time being. We’ve got our mainline hose, and soaker hoses running down the crop rows. I think I already mentioned those awesome timers by Orkin—I can set watering for a particular time, to last however long I need, and it has a rain delay switch too.

Next year, the soaker hoses will be replaced with PVC pipe, in sections, so they can be lifted up and over when it’s time to plow. The mainline hose will also be replaced with PVC pipe, running under the driveway from the three spigots in the pasture. A more permanent system.

We’ve also discussed the pasture area. We have a nice, slightly sloping section on the opposite side of the drive from the garden. Scattered mature trees, water, and nice grass. Cows are on the agenda next year, beef and milk. And maybe a pigpen.

See, just like in a garden, you aren’t going to grow things you won’t eat—that’s a lot of hard labor for not much return. So we pretty much nixed the idea of goats. Sure, they’re cute, but I’m not going to milk a goat and I certainly don’t want to eat one!

It comes down to this: is the animal useful? Even a horse . . . well, that might be useful at some point, certainly if SHTF, so maybe a work horse. I always wanted a Clydesdale . . .

I’m am so sick of feeling like I should apologize because I’m white.

I didn’t ask to be born white. Black people didn’t ask to be born black.

I didn’t ask to be born into a middle-class family, upwardly mobile, even. Black people didn’t ask to be born into whatever class they, individually, were born into—see, I can’t even say “poor,” because while the majority of black people may be poor or whatever term one wishes to use, you absolutely can’t say that of all of them and there are plenty of poor and disadvantaged white people too.

Just like ALL white people aren’t living the life of a CEO with a million dollars—or a lot more. Okay, maybe most of the rich people, the really rich ones, ARE white, but they aren’t ME.

Do I think it’s wrong that SOME white people think that black people are inferior and show that by pulling them over in traffic stops for no reason, or shooting them with little or no provocation, or blaming them for everything, or thinking they’re dumb? OF COURSE.

But the people who do that are not ME.

So you know what? I’m done apologizing. I do want to learn, to study, to ask questions and have an open dialogue, but I’m done apologizing for being white.

I never owned slaves; neither did, to my knowledge, my ancestors. I never believed it was right to own another person. At the same time, while it’s history, it’s OVER. Just like the flying or display of the Confederate flag, which is also history, the war is over, which is why, presumably, those flags are falling right and left.

You can’t have it both ways. You can’t go on and on about slavery and racism and blaming the past, dwelling on the history of black people here in the US, just because it’s history, and then claim the Confederate flag should be abolished because of its OWN history.

Pick one.

You may disagree with my flag analogy; hell, maybe I even disagree with that convoluted paragraph, but my point stands.

And I’m done apologizing for being white. I’m done tiptoeing around the subject, or any subject, hoping not to offend someone. I love my friends, all races, but my friends and I can discuss things, brainstorm, work out our issues.

I’m equally certain that, one on one, most people can do that too. But not if we keep listening to the war-mongers, those who wish to divide and conquer.