dystopia « Robin Writes

So we made the big move out to the middle of nowhere. Okay, there’s a “town” of about 200 or so within a few miles, and another of 5000 about 15 miles away. But here in the middle of our 35 acres, it sure SEEMS like that!

The moving went, well, like moving goes: long and exhausting. Even though we did move a lot of stuff over the last few months, the final push still meant finding space for everything in the house.

Turns out, I’m very thankful for the dungeon. Er, lean-to. Once we cleaned it out and started tiling the floor, it looks much better, enough so that I can store some things down there. Like extra liquor. Not sure how we accumulated all that…

Now that I’m mostly unpacked, I can tell you that moving to a homestead isn’t all about a gorgeous sunrise on the deck with your coffee, and hiking through the woods soaking up the warm weather. Or planning a garden, or measuring for your pasture fence.

Well, okay, it is, but likely while you’re gulping down coffee you’re also keeping an eagle eye on the dog so an, um, eagle or something doesn’t swoop down and grab her. And then you’re dodging boxes while trying to decide where to put what. And find stuff.

You know you have to get seeds started, and the garden plowed, and the pasture seeded—you’ve already scheduled that for Tuesday, based on the forecast, but who knows?

And then you realize that your office will actually be able to be worked in if you just stop for a moment and put together that new file cabinet you bought.

This includes an eight-pound bag of “hardware” and a part labelled C4. You realize what that part’s for when you open the directions book—not booklet, book—and decide maybe you’ll just leave your mess on the living room floor and go into the office, file cabinet be damned.

After going over your to-do list, all 124 items, you decide to just tool around on Amazon for a while…

It’ll still be nice out tomorrow, right?

See, that’s the thing—you just don’t know what tomorrow will bring. It could be snow—God forbid—or a storm or too much wind for seeding. Maybe you pull a muscle today and can barely walk tomorrow. On a homestead or farm, things need to be done NOW. You can’t just tell yourself that you’ll “do it later,” you don’t get to take breaks all day long whenever the urge strikes.

Alright, you can cut yourself a little slack, especially at first, because sometimes you’ll wonder when you’re ever going to have time for fun stuff.

You DO need to make time for all that, to do things you enjoy. But you better enjoy the farming or homestead life, or you won’t last long. Me, I can’t wait to start planting, but it’s also (near) the first of the month and the end of the first quarter, so I have work to do. The point is that it’s the PLANTING that I like to do—among other things.

Entertainment, too, can come unexpectedly. For instance, I’ll sure enough be entertained when my husband gets back from the barn and sees the mess of file cabinet pieces I left there…

Yeah, yeah, I know it’s Tuesday. Our move to the farm has taken an unexpected turn, so that’s my excuse. Tune in Wednesday for all the details . . .

Weapons. Everyone should have one for defense.

Before you freak out over this statement, consider how many things could be USED as a weapon: canned good—yes, we all had a laugh over this Internet sensation, but think about this in the context of your home, not a classroom—heavy knickknacks, sharp knives, a large hardcover book.

Take a look around you. What if someone broke in to your home right this minute? Or what if you answered the door, expecting a religious treatise or something, and it was, instead, the bad guy?

The old baseball bat by the door is almost a cliché, but it could be effective. So, too, could a heavy object. Or a kitchen knife, if that’s the location of the break in. Almost anything can be used as a weapon, if you’re willing to grab it and get up close.

First, you have to have that mindset. Naturally, it depends on the situation—the intruder might just be annoying, or maybe he didn’t expect to find you at home and he’ll run. On the other hand, perhaps he IS bent on destruction, robbery, or death. Your death.

Mentally prepare, and have something at hand at all points of entry.

And practice. You might feel silly, but really, it could save your life or at least minimize injury; and no one has to know.

Then, of course, we have your standard weapons: guns, knives, hatchets, arrows, and so forth.

Practice daily or weekly, but practice. With firearms, you need to become familiar with the handgun or shotgun or rifle; you need to learn safety procedures and practice those EVERY TIME you bring out your weapon.

Ammo can be pricey, but you still must practice on a regular basis. Forget a quick-draw—just be ready to use it, slow and steady, if necessary. Defense consists of two prongs, if you will: mental prep and skill/ability. Even if you don’t “like” to use your firearm, you may, at some point, need to.

While handguns have less range than long guns, knives are typically used for an up-close encounter unless you become proficient at throwing. Throwing knives are, of course, different than a kitchen knife or a hunting knife; know the different and practice often. Start close to the target, and when you become consistent, move back and keep practicing. Same goes for hatchets. These are mid-range defenses.

Whatever your weapon of choice, you should strive to become proficient, and this means practice. Just like with common, everyday objects, you first need to mentally prepare to defend yourself and then have the weapon at hand—and then practice until it becomes second nature.

I know some of you will be concerned with who is to be accorded “bad guy” status. Sometimes, yes, this can be difficult to discern; pick up a psych book and do a little reading and research on signs and clues.

Most of the time, however, in spite of TV and movies, you’ll know right away that this intruder means you harm. After all, he’s already entered your home, or your space, uninvited, and he seems determined to come at you or steal from you or attack you.

This is not the time to wonder if he’s the “bad guy” or to run down a list of clues in your mind. This is the time to go on the offensive. Sure, you can wait until he makes his move, but that might be a fatal decision.

And sometimes, just a show of being well-armed with any kind of weapon is enough to deter the “bad guy.”