Prep Monday—How to Handle a Crisis


Last night, we watched The Worst Movie Ever. Kid you not. “Area 407” should be banished, erased, burned, SOMETHING.

The basic premise, annoying girl-child aside, was that a plane crashed in a government testing area. Roughly six or so people survived the crash: the annoying one (I can’t stress this enough), her sister, a fat guy who complained about everything, a US air marshal, a photo-journalist, a flight attendant, and a couple others.

Spoiler alert: they all died. Doesn’t matter—you really don’t want to watch this anyway.

So they’re sitting there in the middle of nowhere, no one has cell service (didn’t occur to them to check that for a good 30 minutes), everyone is injured (presumably, there’s a lot of blood), and guess what happened?

A lot of screaming and yelling and running around. After the flight attendant is killed by whatever-that-thing-is, they decide to all go for help. In fairness, the whatever-that-thing-is was still running around somewhere in the dark. Then the air marshal shoots at the—well, hell, it was some kind of dinosaur; spoiler alert again—and THEN announces, “It’s okay, I’m an air marshal.” With an Australian accent.

But I digress.

The point is that they were all idiots.

Let’s forget the dinosaur part for now, and the fact that they’d crashed into a government testing facility. That pretty much guaranteed they weren’t getting out alive, period. They’d seen too much.

But they could have lasted a lot longer, and without all the running around, finding abandoned cabins with sort of working radios, and finding an SUV too, which the annoying one’s sister used to accidentally run over the air marshal.

Oops, more digression.

What should they have done?

One, shut up. Oh, please, please, shut up! Now, bless her heart, the surviving flight attendant tried to get everyone to work together, but she just wasn’t up to the task. I get that. Some people aren’t. The marshal sure could have identified herself sooner—like right away. Whoever takes charge in a situation like this must 1) know what he’s doing, and 2) get control. All that racket probably drew the dinosaur—and that holds true for a lot of danger out in the middle of nowhere, dinosaur or not.

Moving on: attend to the immediate needs of the injured. Do not put a tourniquet on a scrape/cut on a whiny kid’s arm. Slap her out of her hysteria and whining. Seriously. She was about 13 or 14 and acted like an 8-year-old who’d missed a few days of Ritalin. Oy.

So, in this situation, no one was badly injured, nothing life-threatening. Next step, shelter.

They had half a plane sitting there, for crying out loud—why leave? Plane crash, black box, flare gun. Right there. Get comfortable, barricade the gaping opening, keep people busy. Next, check supplies.

Isn’t the galley usually in the back somewhere? Crew quarters, carry-ons, etc. Find water. Find some food. Hunker down and wait.

Sure, the military would have killed them later, perhaps, if they caught sight of the dinosaurs, but maybe not. At least it would have been a clean shot, instead of being ripped apart, or barfing up dinosaur eggs like the photo-journalist. Oops, my bad. Too graphic? It was pretty disgusting, for sure.

There are some situations where you might want to get the hell out of Dodge, but this wasn’t one of them. Sometimes, it’s best to stay put, especially if you know people might be looking for you.

Assess and take care of injuries, find shelter and supplies, and wait.

And watch out for mutant dinosaurs.

 

 

 

 

Writer Wednesday—Blogging


What makes a blog popular? Beats me. No, really, I have no idea. I have a handful of “fans,” if you will, but it’s not like thousands of people read my posts. Too bad, I guess, but I’m okay with that. Maybe someday I won’t be, and I’ll stop.

Anyway, I can tell you what I like and don’t like about a blog post and that determines how much of one I’ll read:

Current information, and accurate, is a must. Spelling, grammar, and punctuation are also important to me—why? Because if a blog is poorly written, I assume that the writer is an idiot. Simple. I read blogs to learn things, and if someone can’t actually, you know, write, then I assume they’re uneducated and therefore aren’t going to teach me a thing. I mean, this punctuation stuff, that’s taught in grade school! Likewise, if someone links to his blog but the intro in the post is garbled and ridiculous, forget it. Not going there.

Videos annoy me. I’m a writer and a reader, so if I click on something interesting and then have to watch a video, I’m done. If I want to see live and/or moving pictures, I’ll turn on the TV. Same reason I don’t like to go to a meeting, be handed a packet, and have someone read aloud. Ugh.

I get irritated, too, when I see a lead-in paragraph on something interesting, click the link, and go to the SAME lead-in on another page and have to click yet another link to get to where I was going. Sigh.

I like to see regular posts, too. Maybe once a week, maybe more. If a blogger hasn’t posted in months, what’s the point of following? It’s kind of hit or miss . . .

Blogs with themes are nice, too. Cooking, or raising kids, or whatever—just something that’s not all over the map, you know? On the other hand, if a writer has some skill, they can blog about almost anything as long as it’s entertaining. Like a book, or a story. No, no, I don’t mean a serial on a blog; I mean just funny, or captivating, or, well, entertaining. It has to do with voice, just like a novel.

Some people do make money by blogging—yay for them! I don’t. It would be awesome if some big company would sponsor me, or sponsor giveaways, but Adsense and all those pay-per-click thingies don’t always deliver.

So why do writers blog? Or why should they? You can ask this question almost anywhere and get a half-dozen different answers.

I blog for a few reasons:

To get the word out about new books, to pitch my own, to provide information for authors and writers, to discuss the industry, and of course, prepping info—including my own methods.

But I also blog to practice my writing. It certainly helps to do some stream-consciousness putting-the-words-on-the-paper stuff, and practice makes perfect. Sort of. It’s a good, regular exercise in honing one’s craft. Simple.

I encourage all writers to blog, just for that reason. Even if life gets in the way, you know you’re committed to doing X-number of posts a week or a month; kind of like all the “regular” chores you have to do every day. This quickly becomes habit, and gives you a regular creative outlet; plus, it’s more exposure to your work, which is always good if not immediately apparent.

Once, we placed a classified ad for a business we owned. Got nothing. Not a single phone call. Then, three months later, a woman called us. She’d kept the ad for that long. We got her as a client, and then her sister, as well as her sister’s brick-and-mortar business. That $5 ad brought a big response, eventually.

Exposure and networking are a lot like that—you never know when it’s going to click.