author « Robin Writes

I’m am so sick of feeling like I should apologize because I’m white.

I didn’t ask to be born white. Black people didn’t ask to be born black.

I didn’t ask to be born into a middle-class family, upwardly mobile, even. Black people didn’t ask to be born into whatever class they, individually, were born into—see, I can’t even say “poor,” because while the majority of black people may be poor or whatever term one wishes to use, you absolutely can’t say that of all of them and there are plenty of poor and disadvantaged white people too.

Just like ALL white people aren’t living the life of a CEO with a million dollars—or a lot more. Okay, maybe most of the rich people, the really rich ones, ARE white, but they aren’t ME.

Do I think it’s wrong that SOME white people think that black people are inferior and show that by pulling them over in traffic stops for no reason, or shooting them with little or no provocation, or blaming them for everything, or thinking they’re dumb? OF COURSE.

But the people who do that are not ME.

So you know what? I’m done apologizing. I do want to learn, to study, to ask questions and have an open dialogue, but I’m done apologizing for being white.

I never owned slaves; neither did, to my knowledge, my ancestors. I never believed it was right to own another person. At the same time, while it’s history, it’s OVER. Just like the flying or display of the Confederate flag, which is also history, the war is over, which is why, presumably, those flags are falling right and left.

You can’t have it both ways. You can’t go on and on about slavery and racism and blaming the past, dwelling on the history of black people here in the US, just because it’s history, and then claim the Confederate flag should be abolished because of its OWN history.

Pick one.

You may disagree with my flag analogy; hell, maybe I even disagree with that convoluted paragraph, but my point stands.

And I’m done apologizing for being white. I’m done tiptoeing around the subject, or any subject, hoping not to offend someone. I love my friends, all races, but my friends and I can discuss things, brainstorm, work out our issues.

I’m equally certain that, one on one, most people can do that too. But not if we keep listening to the war-mongers, those who wish to divide and conquer.

I posted on Facebook that I wasn’t “offended” by a damn thing. Some of my friends commented to “give me time,” figuring they could come up with something…some of them posted things that they thought I SHOULD be offended by…

So here’s the deal:

You know when you say, “No offense,” to someone you may have just unwittingly insulted? This is the true meaning of “offense.” Well, other than the one with criminal connotations. We’ve all blurted out things to someone, immediately following with that “no offense,” just in case that person was part of what we’d insulted.

And we all cut our friends more slack on their views than we do someone we’ve never met or with whom we have little or no personal connection.

It rather amuses me to see the things people claim to be “offended” by:

Using a rainbow to symbolize LGBT. Telling Christians what they can or cannot say. The Confederate flag.

These are just a few that have lately been in the news.

Do any of these things “offend” or “insult” me? No. Not a bit. Anything else? Nope. Not that I can think of at the moment. Feel free to comment and see what you can find…

However, yes, some things “concern” me, and I use that word to indicate that things like infringing on freedom of speech and trying to eradicate a symbol of Southern heritage should not be happening. Should. Not.

I can see some of you asking “why??” Or “why not??” And I’ll tell you.

Here in the US of A, we have freedom of speech. Period. Yes, the old “you can’t yell ‘fire’ in a crowded theater” definition still applies, but we’ve become a nation of pansies, wimps, wusses, whatever word you want to use. Words are changed or eliminated because “someone takes offense.” Bullshit. Get over it.

Let’s talk about the flag. Right or wrong, wherever you stand on racism or slavery is your right to do so. Me, I happen to think both are wrong, but—here it comes—the Confederate flag is part of our history. ALL of us. It can be a source of pride to some, shame for others, but no one alive today was actually PRESENT during the Civil War or immediately before and after. NO ONE.

My ancestors, Wilford, Alford, Buford, and Stanford, fought for the South. None owned slaves. I certainly can’t say whether they agreed with racism or slavery; I never met them, obviously. And no, I did NOT make up those names. Last name was Smith. Naturally.

These boys—and Stanford was 14 when he joined up—fought for states’ rights, another platform of the War that has been all but forgotten. Sure, one of their so-called rights was to own other human beings, but let’s not lose sight of the entire picture, all the other rights that these folks felt the federal government was trying to take away.

And again, right or wrong, we can’t obliterate our history. Someone once said, “Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it.” Look it up.

In general, you can certainly dislike something, or even hate it. That doesn’t mean you are or should be “offended” by it. There are a lot of memes circulating now with the saggy pants picture, and the caption “I’m offended by this.” No, you aren’t. How could that possibly cause offense? Or insult? No, I don’t want to see some kid’s undies, but it doesn’t really affect me one way or the other. Never will, even by the most far-fetched extrapolation. I don’t like it, but that doesn’t make me offended.

So let’s leave this word, offended, alone for a while. See what happens when you truly stop and think before you use it. Are you instead insulted? Then say so—but be careful here, too, because what exactly does that mean?

If someone tells me I’m a crappy writer, I’d be insulted. Same for a few other things that I know I’m not, but some may have a different opinion—and that’s all it is, an opinion. In other words, it’s personal, and I’d be offended.

But truly, how can anyone be offended by someone else’s opinion, particularly that of someone you don’t know? It’s not personal, generally. Someone liking the Confederate flag or the rainbow flag or bashing Christians in no way diminishes MY thoughts, opinions, and feelings about any of these things.

Most of the time, when someone I don’t know disagrees with me, my thoughts include such gems as “You’re an idiot” or I simply shake my head, knowing that person is simply wrong. Sure, sometimes I’ll argue or debate, but mostly just for entertainment—or I’ll speak my piece and leave the conversation.

It’s not that I don’t care, but I don’t care that much for the opinions and feelings I believe to be wrong, and I know it’s an uphill battle to drastically change someone’s mind. I have the time and energy to take care of me and mine, and not worry overly much about unknown individuals.

And if all that offends you, well, too bad.