author « Robin Writes

So, you probably know that there’s a bunch of stuff on the Internet about “divide and conquer.” You know, where someone, somewhere, is just stirring up stuff to get us all at each other’s throats . . .

Let’s think about this.

Back in the old days, I sure don’t remember anyone yakking about the “correct” holiday-time greeting. I still maintain, however, that the Internet itself is the cause of a lot of this because we wouldn’t know a tiny percentage of things happening if it weren’t for that.

When I was a child, we’d drive around our area to look at Christmas lights. If there were no lights, we’d usually see a menorah in the window. No big deal. Very people went out-of-town for Christmas, because family was nearby and, well, who the heck would take a vacation then?

People would shop, either for Christmas or Hanukkah, iterate the appropriate greeting depending on their religion, and life went on. Granted, the area in which I grew up was primarily Christian and Jewish, and I’ll bet it was like that where you lived too.

Back then.

Now, the talking heads are telling us we should be OFFENDED if someone doesn’t give us the “correct” greeting based on our particular religion. Like they’d KNOW what that religion is . . .

I call bullshit.

Because, really, are you “offended” if someone says “happy holidays?” I’m not. Besides, aren’t there at least two holidays that Christians celebrate around this time of year? Christmas and, hey, wait a minute—New Year’s! That’s plural, folks. So “happy” to both, right?

I do remember my grandma shaking her head over some signs and cards that said “merry Xmas,” believing that “they” were x-ing out Jesus; then again, I also remember hearing that the X stood for the cross.

Can you imagine what would have been all over the Internet then?

Now, I do see the occasional social media post decrying the lack of “merry Christmas” greetings and so forth, but really, these are the same people regurgitating the same old posts and no one really cares.

Kind of like the Starbucks cups. Sheesh.

Hey, y’all know what you believe and you can shout it from the rooftops—that’s free speech. Whatever happened to manners, though? If someone tells me “happy Hanukkah,” I’m going to smile and say it right back.

You can have any kind of holiday you want, and you can greet people however you want, and that’s okay with me—and should be with anyone else. Unless you’re being a douche. Can’t discount that. But you know what? You can even act like that too if you want, although I doubt you’ll get many greetings of any kind after the first few times.

But that’s my point. Divide and conquer. Someone’s pulling the strings and yanking our chains while they’re doing it.

No, not football. Not quite. I’m talking about the recent dust-up at Mizzou.

I lived in CoMo for about 15 years. I’m even a Mizzou alum, sorta kinda. Okay, just one semester, and it really stunk, GPA-wise, but still.

I’ve also been called a lot of names over the years. But I guess that’s okay, because I’m white, right? And I have this “white privilege.”

I’ve certainly been “privileged” in my lifetime, and it may have been because of the color of my skin, but it’s not like God said, “Hey, what color do you wanna be when you’re born? Have any preference?”

Besides, if people are complaining because they’re being “offended” by comments due to their skin color, but then turn around and accuse me of “privilege” because of my skin color, isn’t that a little, well, unfair?

I get the slavery thing: black folks sold other black folks to white folks, who worked them to death and held them against their will and usually treated them like crap.

And then came Reconstruction and the black folks were still treated like crap, even when free, and in many cases it’s still happening.

I get that. I really do, even if I, personally, haven’t experienced it.

But.

There’s always a but.

If a black person is treating ME like crap, because I’m white, that’s not okay either. Even if—and they didn’t—my ancestors had “owned” this person’s ancestors.

Because I am not responsible for what anyone did 150 years ago. I wasn’t there.

Neither were you.

So, back to Mizzou:

Some people insulted some other people. This happens all the time. Everywhere. In this case, the insulters were white and the insultees were black. This, too, happens all the time. No difference. None.

I’ve been insulted, and I’m sure you have too.

Do you call on everyone to give in to your so-called demands? Do you call for the resignation of anyone?

Of course not. You fume and stew and maybe even toss an insult right back. You might blog about it.

That’s it. The End. Move on and take care of your own life.

And what’s up with this “safe space” garbage?

On a college campus, or anywhere, you should be safe from physical harm. You cannot legislate or demand that other people stop thinking or saying things you don’t like.

That’s your safe space. The rest, it’s what you make of it. How you react. Wait, what’s that? How YOU react. No one can “make” you think or feel something; not bad, not good, not anything. Your feelings are YOUR choices to make.

Someone once told me that there are four basic feelings: sad, mad, glad, and afraid. If you’re insulted, you’d probably feel mad; even sad. Glad, of course, is off the table. Maybe you’d feel afraid.

Let’s talk about that for a moment.

Why were you afraid? Did the insulter have a means at his disposal, right then, to physically harm you? Probably not. That’s why he was insulting you. If he’d had a weapon and actually threatened you, you could and should call law enforcement.

But words? Meh. Get a grip. People will keep calling you names your whole life. You won’t like most of them. But it’s not legally actionable. Or even protest-actionable, IMHO.

All it says that you’re a big wuss and too tender to be allowed to be an adult. You need a padded room with zero input or stimulation. Do you really want to live like that?

Oh, you want change? Don’t we all. But change isn’t affected by stomping around and screaming about how unfair things are. Change comes from, trite as it is, one act of kindness at a time, one person at a time.

Change happens with conversation and getting to know people—think about it: you’re probably much more forgiving towards your friends, people you know, than you are to a stranger, right? One of your friends can piss you off, and usually, eventually, you get over it. If you don’t, you have bigger problems than I thought possible.