abby « Robin Writes

I spent all weekend at a charity festival, Creve Coeur Days, and it was HOT. Did I mention that already? Surprisingly, I held up pretty well, considering temps in the low- to mid-80s with a heat index of around 90. Not so bad, you say? We were on pavement, which raises that index to 100. Easily.

There are two kinds of people at these events: customers and workers. Now, I won’t lie, the ticket booths and the food wagons (“joints” in carny-speak) have air conditioning. Not very efficient, but it’s there. I, however, did not work in any of these. I walked, I cleaned up, I chatted with folks and directed traffic, and organized the parade.

It was hot.

Yeah, yeah—but how did I keep cool for a 5-6 hour shift or, worse yet, the 12-hour stint? You know what I’m going to say, right? Water. But not just any water.

Or, rather, not just drinking water. It’s all about prepping which, as you probably know, is being prepared—and also taking advantage of the things that are available.

We packed a cooler of ice with extra water, some iced tea, and snack—protein, that is. Not like you can’t get food at a carnival, if you’re willing to be a little choosy and pay the price. (By the way, I passed on the fried alligator on a stick.) We also had to park a fair distance away, so if you had to go out to the truck or even the dumpsters, it was nice to have a cold drink out in the back forty.

I’m also a big fan of bandanas—you can do all kinds of things with those. I did ask a vendor to dunk mine in their drinks bin a couple times, because I habitually wear it around my neck or head when I’m outside in the heat. It’s also good to wet down your arms and legs and, of course, to wipe the sweat out of your eyes. It’s just a little better when it’s wet . . .

No, I didn’t wear a hat. I’m of two minds about this—sure, it keeps the sun off your head/face, but we wear hats in the winter to hold in body heat, right? So which way do you go in the summer? I find shade. Simple. Whenever possible.

I’ve also been known to stick my head inside the ticket booth from time to time, or through the serving window of a food joint, or even into a car window if one stops for directions. And yes, I ask, and yes, they usually obligingly crank it up for a minute!

Besides water, any fluid is good—yes, even caffeinated beverages; just don’t go crazy—but keeping up a regular eating schedule is important too. Small things, here and there, not a large meal. Keep in mind, too, we’re at a carnival and it’s nearly impossible to find fruits and vegies, but there’s protein. If you’re feeling well, it’s easier to deal with the heat.

I did suffer a small problem early Saturday. Had to do with that beer sensitivity I’ve mentioned before. No, not a hangover. Cold symptoms and sinus issues. I came home for an hour, into the AC, and then the Advil kicked in. Good as new.

The only real ill effects of the four-day event were a blister on the bottom of one foot and a slight sunburn. Yay, me!

So I guess if SHTF happens in the summer, I’m good to go. But I’m hoping for spring or fall . . .

My biggest issue with writing advice sites is that every one of them purports to be an “expert.” Naturally, I’m an expert too. Ha.

Look, writing is pretty basic—a simple, coherent sentence that doesn’t flaunt bad grammar.

There ya go, now send me $100US, please! Message for my mailing address. Thank you!

Recently, I read a blog post about seven rules you can break, or don’t stress over, or something like that. Don’t remember, because I see stuff like this all the time. Oh, wait—I remember, it used the word “bogus” in the title.

Okay, first of all, the writer is an English prof, so maybe you should listen to him. Maybe. By the way, this came out over a year ago and is making the rounds again. Oh, and he’s also written a few books. No idea how well they’re doing, haven’t had time to check. You can, though. Google him, Amazon him, whatever. Let me know. Or not.

Back to the topic at hand:

Infinitives. Phht. Whatever. If it sounds right, split if you want to; if your editor changes it, please don’t cry. Editors have their own way of doing things. Sometimes they’re right. If they’re wrong on infinitives, they’re probably wrong on other things too.

Prepositions: I typically change a sentence to NOT end in a preposition, unless it’s dialogue. Why? Because I was taught NOT to do that; however, I was also raised with people who commonly asked, “Where are you at?” It’s a colloquialism, not exactly “bad grammar.” There’s a difference, kinda like dropping your Gs or saying “warsh” for “wash.”

Frankly, even as a child, I thought that extra R was ridiculous, and I trained myself not to use it.

So, next up, we have “which.” Which what? Again, I agree with the blog writer. Use whatever sounds best and move on.

Starting a sentence with a conjunction? No problem, unless you still a comma after said conjunction. This is often used for effect, but with a comma—ack! NO!

You do NOT ALWAYS have to “show not tell.” Silly rule. You’re a storyteller, after all! On the other hand, it’s usually always better to say, “I got ready for bed” instead of “I decided to” or “I started to.” Use things like “she walked,” “he did,” “they went,” and so forth.

Verb tense can be tricky. Ran into this myself not long ago. “A group,” “a bunch,” and “my family” all denote a collection of individuals, even though they all obviously are singular items. Because of this, in spite of the singularity, I will always use a plural verb: a group were, a bunch were, my family were. Remember, a collection of individuals, ergo, plural peeps. So go with the plural verb. Period.

Old versus new meanings. You can easily start an Internet argument about any of the words the blog writer uses as examples. Ignore it. Use whatever you like, if it works for you. If your editor is a stickler, she’ll change it. Argue at your peril.

Last and done: the blog writer “could care less.” Well then, he cares more than he lets on—get it? This one drives me nuts.

Thankfully, however, he ignored The Great Oxford Comma debate. Whew! Dodged a bullet there!

So here’s the deal:

Make sure your writing is as correct as it can be, and wait for the red pen. Because it will come. Maybe you can successfully defend your choices. Good luck!