We went to court today – my son is home!

However….

The judge declined to close the case until February. He wanted us to be able to receive certain services from the state, free of charge. Nice, huh? Of course, there’s a twist:

The child support modification, pending in another county because my son’s father thinks it’s his bound duty to protest an extra $100 a month, is now put on hold until this case is closed. In February. Three more months.

Doesn’t sound very long, right? Except I filed for this modification in June 2008. At this time, that’s about 16 months already. Even better, this all per state law.

How dumb is this?

Of course, in 17 years I’ve asked for a support review exactly twice. The first/last time it took almost three years. And, let’s not forget, when the state decided to take my son it was just six days before they informed me that they were redirecting support back to the state. Of course, they’re too unorganized to actually carry that out. And, my son’s father has stopped paying support.

Guess he thinks that one-hour lunch with his son, and his paying for his textbooks – oh, and his promises to pay for future college tuition – makes up for NEVER being here to play ball, to laugh, to cry, to teach, to change a diaper, to tuck into bed; I guess he thinks it makes up for NEVER so much as sending a birthday card or a Christmas gift or even picking up the phone and making a call.

Oddly enough, that one visit was two months ago. There’s been nothing since. Nada. Yet he has the balls, pardon me, to hire an attorney to fight a $100 increase, I suspect because he knows my son hasn’t been living at home for seven months.

I’d like to know where he was when we had so much trouble, and finally resorted to military school – to the tune of $20K or so. Where was he all those years when we had no health insurance and had to pay all medical out-of-pocket?

Did he ever stop to think that, if he’d been any kind of father at all, maybe my son wouldn’t be having such difficulties now? With this man, it’s all about shirking his duty, letting his responsibilities slide. It’s all about him, what a surprise!

So because of some obscure state mandate, we have to continue to wait. Even longer. Again.

There’s another component to this as well: those “free” services that were mentioned. That means family therapy, and my son’s individual therapy. We had a brief session after court, that’s one; another is scheduled for a month out, that’s two. Of course, the holidays intervene so I’m guessing we might have another session after the first of the year. So that’s three, total.

We could likely get by without this, or we could, as per our insurance, change therapists or – gasp – use mine. Total cost to us: $90. The other “service” is my son’s counselor. I haven’t met him, although I know his name. Haven’t seen any of his reports either – I imagine everyone else has seen them, but they’re probably deemed too confidential for his mother to read. At any rate, the guy has blown off the last 3-4 appointments, so it hardly seems a cost benefit for us to continue to use him.

But let’s say we did; the cost would run about $100 a month, so $300 altogether, plus the $90, which comes to, oh, let’s round up: $400. Meanwhile, since I have to wait on the modification hearing, I’m losing out on over $2000 of back support, as well as ongoing support. Nice, huh? The state sure takes care of things.

And let’s not forget the stress of waiting and having to deal with more incompetent individuals. Doesn’t matter to the state though, SOMEone, in his infinite wisdom, has legislated that things must be done according to the least common sense possible.

Unfortunately, we pretty much expect the least of our government, and gee – that’s what we get.

I took the day off yesterday – I did none of my usual “chores” around the house, sat around and played online games all day, did some reading; oh, and I took a nap.

Sat down in the office this morning to dig in and start a new project – and finish up some old ones – and realized that I haven’t posted a new blog in TWO WEEKS!

That must be a record. Or something. Not one of which I’m proud. In fact, I should probably be shot, strung up, drawn and quartered…you get the idea. Of course, no one seems to have missed it either. Hmmmm.

Things seem to be winding down here on the homefront. Thank God. I’ve really, truly had enough the last few years. Always something.

My husband’s bone scan came back clear last week. That was a pure relief. Since his diagnosis in May, things have been pretty tense. I’ve had cancer scares myself, but the tests always came back benign. Three times, in fact.

His didn’t, as most of you know. After surgery, the doctors assured him that they “got it all”. And they did. That they could see at the time. Which is why he has to have follow-up appointments for the next few years, every three months for CT scans and every six for bone scans.

He doesn’t seem worried. At all. And he really hasn’t changed his lifestyle either. Well, after every health scare, he does change – for about two weeks. Then it’s business as usual.

I worry. Not a lot. Not even consciously, except right before and right after his scans and appointments. But then, I’ve read a lot about this stuff – kidney cancer is damn scary, especially since the traditional treatments of chemo and radiation don’t have much effect on it. And if it spreads, well, it’s still considered “kidney” cancer….

I don’t think the family “gets it” either. And it’s stressful, I know. For my husband and myself. At least I think it would have to be, for him. I know it is for me. I can see that in my own blood pressure readings – yikes!

So tomorrow is court and my son should be coming home. For good. I hope. And we should be done with state interference. I hope. Let’s put it this way: *I* am done with them. They can do whatever, I won’t be a participant. Guarandamntee it.

He was here recently for almost a week. Had a rocky evening near the beginning, but things smoothed out – quite a lot. I have to say most of it has to do with my son – he’s finally growing up a bit. Well, that and a car sitting in the driveway, waiting for him to get his license – I’m sure that helps!

And we are, at long last, “this” close to buying a house. Maybe. I think. Ah, heck – I’ve said that a few times, and we’re still wrangling with lawyers, still hoping and trying to make a deal. Sheesh. Can’t wait to get my “final bill”. Argh.

So, there’s progress. And that’s about all we can hope for, any of us.