Naturally, this is all applicable to my state/county, but let’s take a look at what’s been happening lately:

March 23 – detention hearing, juvenile is released from custody;
March 24 – juvenile dares parent to call DJO, parent does so and leaves a message;
March 24 – DJO returns call two hours later, leaving parent to wonder what would happen if this was an urgent matter, and DJO informs parent that no paperwork has yet been filed.

March 26 – parent calls DJO manager, as still has not received word as to who is the actual assigned DJO, and leaves message;
March 30 – rinse and repeat
March 31 – and yet again.

So let me understand this correctly: the judge orders that the juvenile obey all rules of the home, as well as all applicable laws. If the juvenile does not, the parents are to inform the DJO. Fine. Wonderful.

But WHO is the DJO? When do they call? What the heck are we supposed to do in the meantime?

Oh, say many anonymous individuals, this is trivial, this is nothing. So your kid doesn’t make his bed and his room looks like a pig sty, so what? So he breaks your rules and lies in bed all morning, stays up till all hours, doesn’t tell you where he is, and sneaks around on the Internet – big deal. He’s a kid.

Yeah, he’s a kid, under our authority and living in our house – which equates to following our rules. He’s a minor, so we are responsible for his legal issues and his moral character and his education. Oh, wait, there’s none of that, he was expelled, remember? And that GED? Yeah, he doesn’t seem too inclined to take care of that either.

After all, we’re not talking about a straight-A, honor roll, respectful, pleasant young adult here, I don’t care how tall he is and how, on rare occasions, he can make sense and be logical, mature, and responsible.

The system says it’s overworked; the caseload is too high, blah, blah, blah. Sorry, EVERYone has issues, work or home, that need to be dealt with. I’ve seen a lot of time-wasting on-the-job, in many areas. Government is not unique, in spite of their bad press.

My state is supposed to be a model for juvenile justice. I’m afraid that the do-gooder, bleeding heart liberals must be running the show here, as elsewhere. Sure, these are kids – but they aren’t children, they know what they’re doing, and they know it’s wrong. So, are we going to release them with no follow-up, except on paper? Looks good, right?

But what are parents supposed to do (besides pay the bill, which I have yet to straighten out)? Just let the kids alone, and hope for the best? Enforce the rules and structure and deal with the fallout? How? We’re supposed to call the DJO, the invisible, undocumented one who can’t answer the flippin’ phone!

Oh, and we’re supposed to have weekly counseling. What a joke. We all NEED counseling, because ONE member of the family can’t control his mouth. Yeah, okay. Whatever. But, really, the question is when? Next week? Next month?

Hmm, I’ll bet it will be after the “probation orientation” which is set for April 18th, almost four weeks after his release. This is where they teach the kids how to have a successful probationary period. A month after the fact.

Of course, this is the kid who, in a different state, was written up for disorderly conduct and, after EIGHT months, the prosecutor wanted to do deferred adjudication; that just means that if he stayed out of trouble for a few months, the case would be expunged. It had already been almost a year. Sheesh.

As you may remember, my son was in detention for three weeks and recently returned home. Prior to the court hearing which allowed this, he agreed to follow certain rules in our home, as well as the conditions for his probation.

I could give a whole laundry list of things he has not done, although for the last few days he seems to be trying – most of the time. However, the “honeymoon” period lasted just 24 hours.

Oh, he was happy to come home, to see his room, his “stuff”, his brother, the dogs; to watch TV and get on his computer, and to eat “real” food.

We had a nice dinner, played some tennis, and had a great evening.

The next day, I took him to the local community college to talk to admissions and to pick up some forms, and a bit later he walked over to the phone store. That’s where the issues came into play.

See, he’s had a cell phone for a number of years, just over three actually, you’d think it was a living being that depended only upon him in order to function; perhaps, if you’d seen how he’s reacted over the last year or so to threats of removal (or actual removal), you’d understand. This goes far beyond communication. It’s more comparable to an IV of life-sustaining fluids.

At any rate, on his return that day, he began badgering me about putting him back on our cell plan. HIS choice, a month or so ago, was to get his own phone, a month-to-month deal, rather than pay us each month (which he seldom did) and to avoid any control I had over the phone (such as who and when he could call). Before he left detention, this very subject arose, and he was told “no”, he needed to keep the plan/phone he’d chosen. In his infinite teenage wisdom, of course.

Naturally, I told him “no” again. And he kept it up, as is his wont, arguing, getting more and more obstreperous, and finally said “Fine, call my juvenile officer, see if I care.” Ooookay.

So I did.

They called me back; they had no clue what was going on, because the paperwork hadn’t been filed, he hadn’t yet been assigned a caseworker, etc. My son has yet to meet with the individual in charge of community service, and I’m still looking at a bill for the public defender (see recent blog post).

You gotta love efficiency.

On the other hand, probably many kids, if not most, do have that brief “honeymoon” period – a few days or a week where they actually behave themselves, thoughts of their recent detention still providing food for thought. Oh, no – not my kid!

Mostly, since that minor getting-a-bit-out-of-control episode, he’s been following the rules. Mostly. He still needs reminders to hang up his towel and pick up his room, and he needs to be told to actually LOOK at that chore chart he requested. But he’s said nothing else about the phone – although he’s asked every adult he knows to co-sign a contract for him or put him on their plans.

Today he wanted to go see friends, for lunch, and was supposed to call at 12:30 to let me know about any other plans. He did, but had no answers. He was supposed to call back by 1:00. He did not. At 1:30, when I called him, he finally had an answer, and was told to be home at 4:00; he said, okay, be home at 5. Sigh. It took a few minutes, but I expect him home in a couple hours. Or not.

Guess it’s a wait-and-see period. And it’s not the rules; well, okay, it is, but the point is that you’d think a kid who’d been in detention for three weeks would be falling all over himself to behave, follow the rules, and be pleasant.

Apparently it doesn’t work that way.