Come and gone, yes, but remnants of the day still linger….

My daughter, telling me that yes, in spite of the card suggesting I might expect it to be late, it is indeed late – by a week!

My youngest, handing me cards from him and Daddy, picking out flowers at the store on Saturday and a bracelet for me on Sunday – but also making me a card at school last week.

My stepdaughter, calling last night to wish me a happy Mothers’ Day….

My husband, driving straight back from Nashville, arriving at 2:00 a.m., to spend the “whole day” with me….

And my older son, messaging me via Facebook, to say “happy Mothers’ Day”.

The day was much better than I’d expected, but of course that last bit is the one that really bothers me. Just a week ago he said he loved me; but since then, naturally, he’s been on my case about one thing or another. Still, you’d think his new foster parents could have said something, or that the state, that all-knowing, all-concerned entity would consider the importance of holidays, especially this one.

My son still insists that I lied to police and had him sent to detention to “get rid of him”. I did not lie, and I didn’t send him to detention – the judge did that, because he recognized all the things we’ve done to get our son back on track:

We’ve met with teachers and school administrators several times…taken him to pastoral counseling…arranged in-home counseling and personal sessions with two different psychologists…grounded him and removed privileges…set up a study plan…allowed him to work and volunteer…taken him for a complete physical…had drug tests done…psychological testing…psychiatric evaluations…outpatient group therapy…long talks with both parents…laid down the rules…sent him to military school for a year…loved him and listened to him.

And yes, he spent three weeks in detention. You think that if nothing else worked, that would turn the tide.

What else can a parent do?

And when we ask him, he has no answer. None.

Kid acts up and is taken into custody; kid lies, and is removed from the home.

Court hearing results in kid remaining in state custody.

Previously court-ordered family therapy is scheduled for one session for the parents, one session for the kid. That’s all. Guess we’re all better now. Right.

Kid in state custody, living in an “emergency shelter”. Kid’s visits with family take second place to his job, his preferences, and meeting his new foster parents. Kid engages in little or no therapy, or shelter activities, and is allowed to come and go as he pleases.

Yet the state still claims “family reunification” as its goal.

How can a family heal, or come back together, if there are no visits? How can it be said that there is progress, or lack thereof, if absolutely nothing is being done to precipitate this reunification?

I have seen my son in court, twice, and in my home once. That is since April 2, when he was taken away, almost five weeks. The home visit was for one hour, and I had to be supervised; yes, he was in so much danger from me, according to the state, that we couldn’t be left alone at all.

Of course, after the visit last week was canceled, when they couldn’t “find” him, he did call and apologize and asked us to come to work and see him. Sorry, son, your peeps think we’re too dangerous….

Last night he was going to come visit too, but gosh – his new parents had planned to take him to a baseball game. So, backseat again.

Excuse me, I’m going to go throw up now.