Yawn. It’s not so tough getting up at 6:30 a.m., but it is hard to get moving by 8:15. What a bum I turned into over the summer! It’s not that I just sit here, like a slug, drinking coffee while still in my robe; I actually do a little housework, and write, and plan my day. I just don’t look very presentable, one of the perks of working at home.

We so look forward to summer, fun in the sun and all that – and a noticeable lack of running hither and yon. But, truthfully, after a couple months or so, it’s nice to get back into more of a routine. Guess that’s why it’s called summer “vacation”.

I am, however, becoming utterly swamped this week. I had my husband so freaked out, anticipating the coming week, that he called me on his way home from work trying to figure out what was going on that night. He kept asking for hints, but I was being a big, ole meany-head and wouldn’t give him any. He even called our youngest and asked him – who, predictably, informed his dad that he was supposed to take us to McDonald’s that night.

To be honest, we had nothing going on. It was the only night that was free. Seriously, though – am I his mother that I should remind him of everything? If I have to keep track of it all, he ought to be able to remember a couple things, right?

He’s doing better, but he still won’t check the calendar….

So we started off with a bang: school, cross-country practice, confirmation; the oldest started college which, fortunately, is only two days a week – he did a great job with his schedule. This was just the first week or so…now we’re getting into dentist appointments, physicals and, of course, orthodontist visits. Sigh.

At least there aren’t any upcoming court dates.

Dear Collection Agency:

Could I please speak with someone who does NOT have his head up his butt??

Yesterday I called NCO, one of the largest US collection agencies. I listened to the entire menu – because it had changed, even though I’ve never called them before – and punched the correct button. After about two minutes of god-awful elevator music, interrupted seventeen times by the standard “please hold, your call is very important to us”, a real, live person answered. I think.

The first thing she said was, “ThankyouforcallingNCOyourcallmayberecordedforqualitycontrolpurposeshowcanIhelpyou?”

My response: huh?

Rinse, and repeat.

So I tell her I’m calling about an account which was paid around the first of June, but the check I wrote hasn’t cleared yet. She wants the account number, and I’m clueless, so she asks for the social security number. I gave it to her, and I’m back on hold.

More elevator music, seventeen interruptions. Of course this time, all that is accompanied by clicks, pick-ups, and hang-ups. Finally, I get another person.

“ThankyouforcallingNCOyourcallmayberecordedforqualitycontrolpurposeshowcanIhelpyou?”

Only she substituted “AT&T” for the “NCO”. Huh? Turns out that NCO has different divisions for different debts; I had already told the first person that it was a medical debt, but apparently that didn’t translate correctly.

More music, more interruptions, more clicks; another person finally came on and said, “AT&T”. Sigh.

Fifteen minutes of this, and I hung up. Called back. This time I actually got a person pretty quickly, and one whom I was actually able to understand.

I said: “Hi. Are you someone who does not have his head up his ass, or do I need to ask for a supervisor?”

He said: “Well, ma’am, I’m pretty tall, so if I tried to perform that activity, I’m afraid it would look pretty silly.”

Holy cow! A collector with a sense of humor! Folks, I’m telling you, if you get any of those, hang on to them – get their direct line, if possible. For the record, they are few and far between.

At any rate, and I did get his private number, he was very helpful and explained that my being sent to the AT&T division was pretty much a default – and that there were no medical bills in collection. Probably because I paid it, but whatever. He said I’d likely be getting the check back – hey, it’s only been two months or so, guess they want their money NOW but take their sweet time sending it back….

Ah, the joys of dealing with so many incompetents, in spite of finding one with some intelligence. I had to start happy hour a bit early, after all that!