The other day, I asked my son if he had any ideas for a blog post. Of course he did – he said I’d griped and complained about him, blogging about all the negative things going on, and wasn’t it time for a more positive treatise?

I considered what he said, thought about how many months we’d been dealing with his poor behavior and, as well, how far he’d come since then.

So here it is.

I won’t bore anyone with all the details over the years of my son’s life, the lies, the behavior, the attitude, the police calls, and so forth. Suffice it to say, since last January, things have changed a great deal.

When he was expelled from school, and unable to return to a previous one, we gave him a choice: get his GED and a job, or attend an alternative school. I’ve said, for many years, that he wants to be grown up so badly, more so than any other teenager I’ve ever known, that the first option would seem to be a good one. Not for every teen, certainly, but maybe for him.

He got a job, two actually, and we sent off for all the paperwork for his GED. He refused to go sign up, let alone take the exam. His behavior, outside of work, was not two steps forward and one back, but the opposite.

Within a month, he was sent to detention, courtesy of the county. Three weeks later, released on probation, he seemed to “get it”. For about a week. Then he was removed from our home.

He’s been in foster care ever since.

Finally, in June, my son took – and passed quite handily – his GED. By August, he’d enrolled in the local community college. He continued to work until classes started, has been in therapy both alone and with the family, and seems to be doing well in school.

His attitude has improved immensely.

We’ve been able to see him, since July, at least once every couple weeks; after he started college, he comes over more frequently. We’ve even had a few overnights. He’s been pleasant, good company, obedient, and mostly a hard worker when he’s here and we have a “project” to accomplish.

He says he enjoys college a lot more than high school and, even at not quite 17 years old, has had a couple of “study dates” with a few different girls. That, of course, is what’s most important to him!

Most likely, he’ll be coming home in a month. We’ve talked about his driver license, a car, continuing college – he wants to go off to a university next year – and the house rules. He’s seems very cooperative. I only hope it lasts when he’s actually here.

And, right now, I have no reason to believe otherwise. He seems happy, and busy, and he wants to come home again. And we certainly want him back.

I normally receive child support every month, and have for about 16 years. It’s done automatically, through direct debit and direct deposit and, have to give him credit, it’s always there.

This month, it’s late. And here’s why:
In 2001, I applied for a review and modification. The whole thing, from start to finish, took three years.

In 2008, I applied again for a review and modification. In June. My son’s father chose to protest, again, and so a hearing date was set. For February, 2009. Almost eight months after I filed.

They said a decision would be made within seven weeks. It took seven months.

I know I’ve said this before, but imagine, say, a divorce action where the judge tells the couple, “You know, I’ll have to get back to you on this; I’ll let you know in a few months or so.” Right. Although I’ve met some judges who might just do that.

The first week in August, I received a copy of the proposed modification, dated August 4th. This said the new support amount would go into effect, retroactive, to September 2008. Of course, he could appeal. It also said that a judge would have to sign off on the proposal before it became official.

It just arrived, two days ago, in the office of the attorney general. It took, I kid you not, SEVEN WEEKS to be sent from one office to another in the SAME TOWN. I think they used the Pony Express, and the pony died. Or the carrier pidgeon got lost. I mean, seriously, what the heck??

And how did I learn all this? I called a phone number from the DSS website; they directed me to call another number. They gave me a third number, where I had to leave a message; someone did call back in a short time, leaving yet ANOTHER number for me to call.

That number was the local office of the attorney general, which has no jurisdiction over the case because it originated in another county, so I was given a FIFTH phone number to call. I’m still waiting for a return call because, naturally, after listening to all the menu options, I had to leave a message.

I think we should throw them all out and start over, fresh, with people who are actually competent. Well, except for the last lady I talked to who was very nice, and went above and beyond to see that I got the right phone number that time. She has a brain. We could put her in charge of the new system. And give her a raise.